When Love Isn’t the Answer…

Sometimes the best thing to do for someone battling with emotional issues is not to date or marry him or her, but to help them seek professional help. Love or marriage alone doesn’t cure such problems. Though they want to be loved, even when they are clearly unlovable.

Particularly those who have been badly wounded emotionally. Some experienced first emotional wound from parents/guardians and ended up with a spouse that wounded them even more.

They have refused to heal, even though they believe they are okay. Their not being okay is so conspicuous to everyone else except them. Granted, they are not bad people per se, they are often very generous, caring and kind, but their experiences make it extremely difficult to relate with them.

Some of them are always very vituperative, angry over nothing, irritable, experiencing mood swings, an exaggerated sense of self, always feeling like the whole world is against them. They misconstrue almost every action or statement, even jokes.

You laugh one minute with them and fight for months. Worse still, they’ll never see themselves as the problem. They don’t waste time in discarding friends. They secretly desire those friends they discard, but their emotional wound-induced arrogance will never allow them to apologize or come back to them.

If they refuse to seek help, exit the relationship. If not, you’ll wear yourself out trying to please them and you’ll never achieve it. It will be one problem after another until it will end painfully and your name will be added to all the bad people in their list.

Only very, very few people will understand this post.